>ij=

I love this little collection of letters and symbols. Itโs been a part of my life for almost 6 years now. Eventually, Iโm sure itโll surface on some untatted expanse of my skin. Itโs that special to me. I would do another book giveaway for anyone who can figure out what it signifies, but no one would be able to solve it. I doubt that even a trained CIA agent could crack the code . . .
In fact, if you downloaded Year of the Firefly or The Weight of Entanglement during this monthโs eBook giveaway, you might have noticed this little dyslexic equation on the very bottom of the back side of the โPreviewโ page. Itโs near the end. But if you missed it, youโre not alone. It took me over a month to spot it. And itโs my book.
It all started around New Yearโs of 2019 when a redhead wandered into my orbit. Like most good things in my life, it was the novels that drew her in. She read Sticks & Stones and decided to reach out. Somewhere over the thousands of emails that were exchanged over the ensuing year and a half, we became extremely close. About as close as two people on opposite sides of the razor wire can be. (For a more detailed account of this, check out โShonda Kerry,โ an excerpt from Letters to the Universe, currently up on my Substack page.)
In addition to being beautiful, kind, and the best friend Iโve ever had, Shonda is smart, deliberate, thorough . . . So much so that when the files to my first novel, Consider the Dragonfly, became corrupted and the book appeared to be unsalvageable, she went in and saved it, learning the delicate art of interior formatting in the process. She has since expanded her skill set to include editing, cover design, and the intricacies of the independent publishing industry as well. My girl. โค For close to a decade, I longed for someone to care about these books as much as I do. I think Shonda actually cares more than I do. If that is possible. In the same way I agonize over just the right word, she can spend days deliberating over just the right typeset. Iโm not sure how this level of care translates to eBooks because Iโve never actually seen an eBook, but I know that the physical books are beautiful. If you ever have the opportunity to hold one, see if you disagree . . .
But back to this little sign (>ij=) and the story behind it. Around the time Shonda was sorting out Consider the Dragonfly, she began referring to the book as =j= in her emails when notifying me of her progress. Kinda looks like a dragonfly, doesnโt it? Although my first four novels were already floating around the prison systemโand there had even been a newspaper article about me in my hometown paperโwe still tried to keep our messages about the books relatively cryptic. As long as the administration didnโt specifically say I had to stop writing, I could continue mailing my handwritten manuscripts home. While it was clear that I was a big fan of the dragonfly, Shonda was more of a firefly girl. (Apparently, calling them โlightning bugsโ is a Southern thing.) At one point she was even considering getting a tattoo of the bioluminescent insect. I know this because she sent me a two-page overview of its legend and history. Iโm not sure when the first cyberglyphic firefly appeared in the back and forth of our emails, but it looked sort of like this: >i< Or maybe this: >!< Canโt remember. All I know is that somewhere around the end of that first year, I started ending messages typing โ=j= loves >i< 48โ. Which, over time, she converted to a single symbol: >ij= The merging of the two into one, dragonfly and firefly in mid-flight.
Although Shonda has very little in common with the character Miranda McGuireโaside from hair color and intelligenceโI named the book โYear of the Fireflyโ as acknowledgement of her arrival on the timeline of my own life. Like every other book that Iโve written since, she has been deeply involved in the post-production process. When I finally received an authorโs copy in late 2020, I donโt know who was more excited, me or her. I was blown away by the crispness of the font, the Astral Pipeline imprint logo on the spine, the way Miranda Rights slanted across the bottom in dark ink, how professional the โPreviewโ page looked . . . I kept catching myself holding it like a proud father, thumbing through the pages lovingly. Remember, Iโve been in here for most of my life. And Iโll never have kids of my own. My books are my kids. My legacy. A thousand years from now theyโll still be around. Proof that I once lived and wrote here on Planet Earth. It was during one of these times, a good month after I received the book, that I stumbled upon something hidden at the end. On the back side of the โPreviewโ page was a little collection of symbols: >ij=
She never mentioned it. Just stashed it back there to let me find it myself. My Quiet Storm. My Solitary Girl. Shonda.
This series is the most challenging thing Iโve ever written. It took over 5 years, 3 books, and 220,000 words to get down. Iโm happy to be done with it even though I will miss hanging out with the women in the story. Mothers, survivors, badasses, every one of them. But itโs finally time to move on. Not just from the story either. In real life too. Law of Momentumโthe final book in the Miranda Rights trilogyโis the last novel I will write from a prison cell. Number 8 overall. My lifeโs work. Iโm very proud of it. It will be available on Election Day. Iโll never forget the years I spent writing it. The different cells I was in and the cellmates I had. Or all the women, free and imprisoned, who contributed to the story. But mostly Iโll remember it as the baby I had with Shonda. A little redhead girl named Miranda, radiant with intelligence and unlimited possibility. Six years after that first letter, we are still going strong. Still committed to this journey, still quantumly entangled, still putting out these books. I figured I was overdue to tell the world about her.




